Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dicks are not precious.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
