sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize