I love black thongs
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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