They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Randomize
