I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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