an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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