some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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