Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Let's get the cat blown out
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
