hotel room ftw
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
