I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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