I cockslap morals
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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