Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize