I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
