I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
