So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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