I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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