I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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