i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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