ugly people sure do ruin things
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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