If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
