Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
