'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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