i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Randomize