What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
