She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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