I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
this hospital has no fireball
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
