what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
