Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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