I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
