saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize