I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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