I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Randomize
