wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
