Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
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