VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
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My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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