Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
