He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
