That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
