ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
