I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
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