I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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