I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
