Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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