I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
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