That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
