He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
