im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
