put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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