If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
