I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
