is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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