If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
this hospital has no fireball
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
