Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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