my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize