Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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