I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We have started to decorate penises.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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