I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize