Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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