at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
