she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
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Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also, beer. Big fan.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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